This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I forgot how hot balto sounded
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
