Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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