I murdered the dance floor call the cops
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Found your dick twin last night
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
