i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
