i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
