Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
A bitchslap is in order.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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