Don't you send me to vm
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
