I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
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