you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
