well most of my day revolves around power hour
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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