Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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