When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
