The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
