I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We left the knife in your bed.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize