How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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