You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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