this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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