how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
