ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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