You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
