just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
