dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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