Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
