So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize