dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
It's shark week go big or go home
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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