sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
