Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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