Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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