the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
