I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Randomize
