He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
