I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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