You're so nebulous sometimes
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
There was a lot of him and a little penis
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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