I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
