I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize
