Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
