btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
