u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
