Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Edward fifth and chaser hands
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
