Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
you never un-have a 4some
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
