In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
