i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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