u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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