So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
