its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
