yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
