I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
we're so committed to being not committed
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
