i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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