Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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