So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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