6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Let the clothes fall where they may.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
