I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
