it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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