Porn is love you can see.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
