You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
