When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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