it wasn't lemon gatorade
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
