it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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