My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
