NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
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