shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
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